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Danes often feel uncomfortable when meeting Americans they don’t know. What are you supposed to answer when Americans greet you saying: “Hello. It’s so good to meet you. How are you?”

This is not really meant as a question, however serious and strange it may seem. Instead, it is meant as a greeting and an opening for further conversation.

A proper reply could be: ”Very well, thank you. And how are you?”

We find a similar phrase in French, for example, “Ça va?” (How are you?), for which the proper reply is “Oui. Ça va!” (Yes. I’m fine).

An informal way of greeting others among young people in English would be phrases such as: “Hi! Alright?” with the reply: “Alright!” And the conversation could go on like that for some time.

Or more likely, it would develop into something more substantial such as the new number one in the charts or the newest Nike shoes. Such seemingly unserious phrases are formalities, but formalities are important.

Most people are more or less familiar with this when meeting friends or other people they know – fairly – well.

For many Danes, it is another matter when meeting new people, for example at dinner parties, at meetings, at conferences etc. When meeting Italians, Spanish, Chinese or other nationalities, it can be rather striking for Danes, how much time is used on small talk or seemingly unnecessary conversation.

 It may even seem unserious. However, it is important to notice that outside Denmark it is very important to make some relations before moving into negotiations, for example.

So at an international meeting, there may be what seems to be a very long introductory phase. Not to worry though, this will prove important later on when the actual negotiations start because it gives a foundation to build on.

Danes often find it difficult and unimportant to make this kind of conversation, and they don’t feel comfortable about small talk. Rather, Danes like to go directly into some serious issue.

However, in an international context, this Danish attitude is somewhat mistaken. In other countries around the world, small talk and ‘unimportant’ conversation with unfamiliar people are very important ways of making personal relations and opening up for more serious issues.

In Denmark, small talk and conversation often begin with the weather. This is probably due to the frequent change in weather in Denmark. In southern Europe, the weather is often more stable so unless it has been very unpredictable or extreme, there is not much reason for talking about the weather.

So other ice-breakers are needed. The best thing is to pay attention, be open and politely curious, of course, and listen to what people have to say. We enjoy talking about things we know about and are more or less preoccupied with at the moment.

Talking to a French wine-maker, it can be highly relevant to ask about this year’s harvest to keep up conversation. But always remember to be polite.

Different words are used for politeness in English all depending on context, level of formality, how well you know people etc. Here are some words used for politeness (also see text boxes to the right).

“Please”

“Thank you”

“Pardon me”, “excuse me”, “sorry”

“Would”, “could”, “might”, “may”

“Sir”, “Mrs”, “Miss”, Mr”